No tags yet.
Hi Everyone,
If you read my blog or follow me on Instagram then you will have seen that my content has been pretty much non existent which I know is a huge No-No but the truth is is that I've just been too poorly to get anything done.
If you are not into details and 'girly issues' should I say then maybe this blog isn't for you and you should stop reading now haha, not that I'm going to go into detail too much!
So around January when I got my monthly cycle which is always regular and comes like clock work every month I had probably some of the worst pain I have ever experienced physically in life. I've always suffered with horrendous periods in terms of pain and without a doubt it will always start at least 7-10 days before the first day of my period, I get horrific back pain and abdominal pain which just lingers till my actual period comes but let me tell you now, if I thought that any periods before my past two were painful, I was VERY wrong.
My past two to three cycles I kid you not have literally been debilitating. Again about 7 days before it even started I was just so exhausted, I started to believe I was just being lazy but I just had 0 energy and I was finding myself wanting to nap during the day and that isn't really me, even when I have a sickness bug I don't even really nap so it was very strange and I just couldn't work it out so I just continued to ride it out with the constant bouts of back and abdominal pain, this is pretty standard procedure for me now especially these past few months. Along comes my actual period though and when I say pain.... pain isn't even a good enough word to use to explain what I was feeling... It was weird because day 1 during the day I was ok, a little uncomfortable-ness here and there but nothing crazy, the night came though and wow... I was literally rolling around my bathroom floor in pain, trying to do everything I could to ease it, heavy breathing, rocking back and forth, holding my belly, crying, just anything to try and make it a fraction less painful. I would try to describe the pain but I don't think I could, I've never felt anything like it. I was in bed, I was out bed, to the point where I just thought it's easier for me to stay in the bathroom! Normally with me some painkillers and a hot water bottle have done for the past 4 or so years since getting them under control (so I thought) but not this time. It was 11pm at night and I found myself running an extremely hot bath to just sit in to try and ease the pain, I was literally willing to try anything, if this didn't work I had no idea what I was going to do next.. So I got in, Burning myself to high hell whilst I was at it just to get rid of this stupid pain! I sat in for as long as I could until the pain was almost bearable for me to get into bed and try to get comfy, my body was calling for rest and some sleep but the pain had other ideas, in the end I think I cried myself to sleep! This carried on for about 3 days possibly 4 at the most!
After that horrific bout of pain I thought things could only get better or at least stay level, but boy was I wrong! Again on my next period in the morning time I was feeling ok, I knew the pain was there but it wasn't stopping me from getting on with my day, afternoon started to come and I was literally collapsing in pain wherever I was.. My partner was away but due back later that night so I just prayed I didn't pass out! In the end it got to maybe 4/5pm and I had to take myself to bed, my body was literally just shutting down on me, at one very scary point before I even reached bed my left leg lost all feeling and literally buckled from underneath me, I got so frightened I didn't even want to leave my bed once I got there, I would experience it again whilst I was in bed, just a very numb feeling more so from my hip to the knee cap on my left side, it was freaking me out but the moment it was over pain just over took my body, it was the most intense feeling I've ever had in the worst way possible so intense I was bolting from the bed to vomit from the pain, this happened at least 3 times in the space of just a few hours. I would get back into bed and just roll around in pain, once that got even more uncomfortable I would just fall to my bedroom floor and roll around there trying my best to hold on a heat pad where it was hurting most but even that I found hard work due to the lack of energy I felt from the pain zapping everything I had out of me. I started to feel really lousy, I was keeping nothing down (including ibuprofen) due to the vomiting and was starting to think I might need to go to hospital, I really didn't want it to come to that as when my partner is away I don't really have anybody as my family are all up north so I knew I would freak out even more if I had to go through that on my own as I'm the biggest wimp! He eventually got home and by that point I had become so exhausted and almost just used to what I was feeling that I was drifting in and out of sleep. I suffer from being so swollen when I'm hormonal where my belly bloats to the point I without a doubt could pass for being heavily pregnant, it embarrasses me and makes me very uncomfortable within myself, my stomach becomes sore to press and baggy clothing (mostly pyjamas) becomes my best friend. Unfortunately for my partner he has just become used to it, the part I think he struggles with the most is probably my mood swings... when I say mood swings I mean horrendous mood swings. I can be squeezing him one minute and wanting to literally strangle him the next, I can say some horrible things too, and more often then not I say them, storm off, slam numerous doors, and then cry hysterically asking myself why and wanting to apologise... but I won't haha.
Some of you may read this and think 'well that's just part of being a woman' 'period pain is normal' Yes absolutely but what I have been through the past few months in terms of pain and the toll it's taken on my body and my life come to think of it, is not! I can honestly say I wouldn't even put my worst enemy through that pain.
That last cycle was enough for me to want to put a stop to it all, I couldn't take the pain, not again so it got to the point where I was meant to travel home and physically couldn't.. I cried well actually sobbed to my mum about how much pain I was in and how tired I was and how I couldn't face the trip. Eventually I did and I got booked in with my doctor as soon as I could be seen, I of course googled my symptoms, worst thing you could ever do by the way as of course you are automatically dying if you google anything but one thing that kept coming up was 'Endometriosis', so not only was I just getting back to normal should I say but then the anxiety and panic about actually having to go the doctors started to set in and that was almost just as bad as what I had just been through!
I will save everything else for another blog post which will follow up to this one incase anybody is interested, if you are going through something similar then I would definitely give it a read for some help and tips!
So I am very sorry for not being very active but I am now having to take whatever good days I get and take them and get everything else done as well as my blog so I'm trying and I hope you understand!
Can't wait to get back into it and post a lot more!
Cya soon!
X